1st day and shopping!


Today I woke up quite late, because yesterday I could not sleep very well. Lately my routine is all messed up.

Anyway I got up, drink glass of water and took a shower, then went shopping.

I bought quite a lot of things for the next week. I bought vegetables and fruits, but I also could not resist and bought some unhealthy snacks 😦 And this is my biggest problem. I bought some tortilla chips and cookies and a bit of chocolate.

I made myself  2 sandwiches with cheese and I ate two 4 paces of chocolate. For dinner I made myself a salad and I drunk a glass of Airan, which is a yoghurt mixed with water. It tastes salty and very good.

I really need to start exercising and being more active.  Next Thursday a very good friend of mine is coming to visit me for one day. I need to lose some weight, because I know, when she arrives I want to have some snack.


Anonymous (:



Loosing journey starts now!


This is very simple – I want to feel good and start new life. And I came to conclusion, that I need to start by changing my body. This will help me gain control back. I am tired of feeling bad about myself. It is not that I feel sad all the time, not at all. I am a very happy and positive person actually. But I feel that I need some major changes in my life.

I want to feel free again. It is not about what other people say or think about me. It is about Myself, my life.

I used to be very active in sports and different events. I used to be very fit and now I would say even beautiful. But for the past 5-6 year a lot has changed and I lost this very positive free feeling, which I want to get back.

And I will. Starting this very moment! I truly believe, that today is the first day of the rest of your life and if you want to change something, then start now, do not wait for tomorrow or next week.

My plan is not only to lose weight, but to start new life, change some habits and be more positive.

My goals are:

1. Change my eating habits and lose at least 100 Ib’s or 45 kg.

2. Start doing some sports again.

3. Learn new language (I think I start to learn arabic.

4. Study hard at the University.

5. Help other people and be as honest as I can.


In this blog mainly I will try to put photo of what I eat everyday, for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I am not planning to weigh myself, because I do not have a scale, because my goal is to feel better and look better.

Let the journey begins today.

Anonymous (:

When you lose someone you can’t replace!


When you try your best, but you don’t succeed…..
When you get what you want, but not what you need…..
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep…..
Stuck in reverse……
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose someone you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home……

When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth

Lights will guide you home

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose someone you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face

Tears stream down on your face
I promise,  I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face

Lights will guide you home………


Anonymous (:

Life in Berlin!


I want to talk about my life in Berlin. It has been more than a month I moved the big capital of Germany Berlin.

Berlin is large,  progressive, multicultural, controversial, bright, beautiful, amazing, loud, exciting and welcoming at the same time. Berlin has a lot to offer, you just have to take it.  Live it. Enjoy it.

I live in a district called Lichtenberg, it is East Berlin and it is Russian district. I live in Plattenbau, it is a tipical kid of building in ex Soviet countries. My Appartment has one bedroom, living room, kichen, hallway and bathroom/WC. I cannot comlain. The appartment is quite nice. The wiev is nothing exciting thought.

The reason why I am in Berlin is I got accepted as one of the 115 International Parliament schoolarship recipients from 28 countries.  For 5 month I am the intern in German Parliament-Bundestag. I enjoy my job and the expierience that I get there is unvaluable.


Where is my Home?


I am in Berlin! Being here brings back memories. I have been in Berlin many times for different reasons, but never for such a long time. At least 5 month I will call Berlin my Home. How many Homes one person can actually have?

I have a Home in Riga, where I was born and raised. I will always feel the link to my Home there. My mom and my grandma place. My room. My things. Memories I left there.  My brother’s place, where I am always welcomed. My friends and relatives.  It’s hard to imagine, that one year ago my life was totally different.

My Home in Poland. For past 3 Years I called it my second Home. I even thought it would become my real Home. Even thought the love to a man, who I thought would be my husband for life, is gone.

I have a Home in Dresden.  A Home to return to after Berlin. This Home will stay in my memory forever. At first I thought it would be just my getaway place to start all from nothing, but it become something more. I was reborn there and this is the something I will never forget. I have changed everything and by everything I mean Everything.

I met someone special there, who captured my heart and opened other world to me. He inspires me even not knowing that. He is the one I have been looking my whole life for even thought he does not realize that. He is the one I will never forget and the memories I will cherish for the rest of my life. Deep in my heart I know this fairytale has no happy ending, but I keep living it and every second, every minute, every moment spent with him my heart fills with love, which is growing stronger and stronger.

I have a Home in Berlin..this is Home for now and I do not know what the future holds.

All I know that I want to find a Home, Home I can call my Home.

Anonymous (:

How to be a good girlfriend/wife?


1. Be pleasant.

It is said that ‘we need to treat others the way we want ourselves to be treated.  Never be rude to  your boyfriend/husband, family and friends. Be warm, kind, positive, understanding and friendly. Work to be pleasant toward your boyfriend/husband. Don’t be one of those people who make everyone around feel bad just because they have had a hard day. Welcome your boyfriend/husband with a smile when he comes home instead of a sour face. A good girlfriend/wife honors her boyfriend/hubby by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face and a neat and clean appearance. Listen to him talk about his day especially if it was a difficult one.

2.Treat your boyfriend/husband with respect.

If you expect respect from others we need to treat others with respect too.  Respect can be reflected in the way one talks and behaves. Always speak in a loving way and refrain from speaking in a harsh manner. A good girlfriend/wife respects her boyfriend/husband and she never chooses to belittle strike, humiliate or otherwise harm him in private nor in public. It is better to watch what you say and think before speaking as it is not possible to take back the words once they are said. A good girlfriend/wife will treat her man with respect in front of others and at home.

3. Communicate.

Communication is the key to a good and solid relationships . Do not hide things from your boyfriend/husband or keep secrets after/in marriage. Be honest to him. Find time to sit and talk with your boyfriend/husband on a daily basis even if it is for only half an hour. If you let things bottle up and feel that you cannot share with your boyfriend/husband anything then your relationships/marriage is in trouble. Be a good listener when your boyfriend/husband is talking. You may have a dozen important things to tell him but allow him to talk first. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems the moment he comes back from work. Good Communication also helps to build trust and strengthen your relationship. After marriage the wife and husband are a team or partners. Do not take any major decisions about the family without consulting with husband. Fights or problems may happen in between the two but do not let the world know about it rather solve it between yourselves.

4. Be supportive.

A boyfriend/husband expects girlfriend’s/wife’s support and understanding especially in times of troubles. A good girlfriend/wife loves her boyfriend/husband through his successes and failures and provides reassurance when he’s feeling down. She is a nurturer and an equal partner in the relationships/marriage. Support your boyfriend/husband in all stages of his career and life. Do not belittle your man or hurt his ego. It is often heard saying that a girlfriend/wife can make a man or break a man’. There’s no quicker way to build resentment in your man than to criticize him or belittle him especially in front of others. Be proud of him on his accomplishments and genuinely complement him. If you do this you can expect your boyfriend/husband to behave with you in the same manner and also respect you more for your support and thoughtfulness. When you don’t agree with him respectfully let him know you don’t agree.

5. Give him his space.

As a girlfriend/wife you need to understand that your boyfriend/husband has a life other than you also. He has his family, friends and colleagues who too are part of his life. He also may have some hobbies or passions he is involved in. Don’t expect his undivided attention. Don’t stop him if he wants to go out and hang out with his friends sometimes or engage in a hobby or sport that he likes. An interfering girlfriend/wife can sometimes be too irritating.

6. Keep him happy in bed.

Sexual intimacy is one of the most essential things in any relationships/marriage. When you please your man, he would be obliged to please you too. Please your man in bed. If you cannot keep your man happy in Bed he may go where he can get it. After all, a Man is a man! According to research, the major reason why man cheat is mostly physical whereas for a woman it is emotional.

7. Plan surprises.

Men like surprises too. It can be anything like organizing his birthday party without him knowing about it or planning a special night of passion by playing a seductress. Your surprises do not have to be elaborate and can be as simple as making him his favorite snack or any of his favorite dishes once in a while even if you would rather eat something else.

8. Express your love and appreciation often.

Men likes praises and appreciation. Make the best of your time together. Men like to hear the words ‘I love you’ too. Also join him in activities that he’s interested in even though you would have preferred to do something else. Give him a thoughtful gift once in a while. Make it a point never to forget the special days in his life.  You can cook for him or give him a good massage. Making him dependent on you by doing his chores when he is at home is not a bad idea. Let him miss you and think about you when you are not around. These gestures won’t go unnoticed and it may even inspire him to do something nice for you.

9. Honesty, loyality, dedication.

A good girlfriend/wife would be honest, loyal and dedicated to her boyfriend/husband.

10. Prepare yourself.

A good girlfriend/wife honors her boyfriend/husband by keeping a pleasant tone in her voice, a happy smile on her face and a neat and clean appearance. Take special care about your appearance and every day. Be hygienic.  A man likes his wife to smell good. If you are unhealthy or not presentable your man may cheat you behind your back.

11. Prepere the House.

Maintain a clean house all the time. Clear away the clutter and spend time decorating the house.

Anonymous (:

Who do you think you are?


I know I can’t take one more step towards you, cause all that’s waiting is regret, and don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore.

You lost the love. I loved the most.

And I learned to live, half alive. And now you want me one more time…

And who do you think you are? Runnin’ round leaving scars, collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me.

I hear you’re asking all around, if I am anywhere to be found, but I have grown too strong to ever fall back in your arm.

And I learned to live, half-alive and now you want me one more time.

Dear, it took so long just to feel alright. Remember how to put back the light in my eyes.
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed, cause you broke all your promises.
And now you’re back? You don’t get to get me back…

Who do you think you are? Runnin’ round leaving scars, collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul, so don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all! 


Anonymous (: